On changing negative self-image

As a kid, I didn’t think about what I looked like. I also didn’t think about other kids’ or people’s faces. I knew what they looked like for identification, but I think I just didn’t have an opinion… Until someone voiced out their opinion on how I look. The opinions weren’t all bad, but they were sometimes contradicting and confusing to a child. – As an example, today, one person would think I have a pretty complexion. Tomorrow, another person will say they think I’m too dark.  All this resulted in a self-conscious kid automatically looking for differences and flaws in other people.   

Most of the things you know today were taught. Whether directly by the people around you or indirectly by society. Some of these are good and true. There are also those that limit us more than they build us. Most of us have characteristics, features and beliefs about ourselves that we have accepted to be true, just because it was said when we were kids or believed by our elders and passed down to us. – ‘We just don’t do that.’ Why though? I mean, what will happen if we did?

Adulting includes us getting to know ourselves better and asking questions about our belief systems. It’s your life. Your mental conditioning, your face and it’s your body. After questioning what’s there, keep whatever is true for you today and if something just doesn’t fit in your current life or it just doesn’t do you any good, throw it away. We need to unlearn what doesn’t work and relearn, change and shift things around by learning and accepting our new truths.

We are social beings. Which is probably why it feels good to be liked and accepted. But do they like me as I am? Or is it because I am hiding a part of myself or agreeing when I actually disagree? We need to stop acting like other people’s opinions of us have the power to determine how our lives are going to turn out.

When you know and accept yourself, you let go of the need to be validated by others. You  also stop comparing yourself and start setting your own standards. Because you have lost the need for uniformity, you will also allow other people to be their different selves. Can you imagine the beauty of our world, if we all lived our truths; each of us shining their light with acceptance of our own, and others’ levels of brightness without fear, or comparison?